The Greensboro patriot [August 12, 1869]

              IS PUBLISHED WEEKLY
AT GREENSBORO, N. C,
By James W. Albright & Brother.
/ I'll MS—eash invariably in atlvjuio*.
-: - \ uoM.w9l.95, tiir«-c mow. 75 cln
\ 3 -,.. 1-..11 r-vuiWutijire Mil>M:riU*n. will re
..[.'. gratis.
■ m ^M^I.^^^^C
Rate* «l A«lv«rii*inic.
■ payable tmdww;
- /ii'trt-rltf in HiJvance.
i -I I HI inwrttoB, I 1.00
. ■■■• tii"ii, M'
■'.- .... fi.(K)
lu.oo
. l-i .ertiun :..oo
. 1.50
.. 2."i.00
40.0(1
n, 10.00
Miti mill,. :i.oo
36.00
SO.06
I !i . 15.00
s.00
60.00
100.00
N"llil.- 50 per <•*» burbar than
•••<'..-. $7; Mapi-iratea'
adeancr.
• .!- changed quarterly if
-... \. i five lin»-», whiiyid a*
ilf.Tin ailranee
I - r-olessional Cards.
II liii.i.iKi., THUS, lti in\. Jit..
\ .i . Late ■■/ AlammaCefN.C
ii A i in \III:. C rsPMovre, V.''.
Dillnrd. ICuilin *• OOfflen
\ r i ■ 'i;\ KYS AT LAW.
<Iit• nslioro, N.C.
I; [t I. H ■.|„.(',,li|l-..!'(iuilf"lll,Ai:iIIUIH-.-
Ii..-.".,i- ;i. Slakes,Yailkin. Surry,
d Caawal] Ceonfi—,
linn nill always attend lie- regular
< . id Km kingliaiu, ahuttauce and
l:ly
| \t . Iloulelt. It.O.K.,
.1 . i lua f lUltiuiure l*mtal College,
il \:,i.- tn Dental Aesonialilai
lii-.io Improvement in l>enti»try.
i T, tli lilli -I without PAW ■'
IIY a einiple application tlw Tooth
■'I insensible telMUn iluring
• • | . ration of tilling,wttbeul injury
ii .tli. r.viiv operation wanunteu
:i t 'hargee an low ej anv dentist
- ix to the Rubber Co. 1 OH
II .'., |...::,. .1 Kubher.
.il i ii i: |- ...i up stairs in the Garret)
r.;lly
iilM VI. NOTICE.
| ) Int. .1. DAVIS
e- £ZZ± Would respectfully Inform the
■i , of Greensboro and tho ad
" iBj ining e.inntry that he ban tilted
up an OFFICE over l>r.lVni>ow'h
i .<H>|IS STOKE, v\here he will he hup-ttend
in all whu may need hiaaetTiee*
of iIn- past eighteen yeara, ton
i . ini-nnpcnt in the town of Fay-r,
will warrant hiui in guaranteeing
•.:..i - ,i ,-i II lion.
i in nf all the late iniproTe-n.
I ii.n.■. - moderateand work
led.
i ,.i I.I.-I.-■■<-•— will be given
■.•:.- HI r.ivi lli-\ illi-. ":tf
Business Cards.
• III-. I!. H.I.K.TT.
i.Mtr.r.ic «v «•«»..
• HMIsSION MERCHANTS
IMI
%'. in I. >.11. I.l.|iu>r Healer*.
I; |{, ... - ire, Norfolk, Va.
[i I in-'- ami gvneffnl
v l.K-k -I i ;.«.il Liquors,
A i .- -!. tin .-I'I- at reason*-1
tsiStai
W, B. FARRER,
\\ \li H M\KI1' .IkWKI Kit*
"X C.rKHi-.l-iP>,N.G.a
\ II.,- i .ii-t.iiiily on lianil a
I i Ii -..1.1 awortment nf
Fashionable Jewelry,
.. .pleudid Watcku
AMI tl.OCKS.
M hick trill bt sold
i . \ : • i.. e <• \sii!
■ _i .St-win I Machinal,
- t: «hort notiee.
Vll.rigbl Mm.-!. East
K'-ly
• iiu:. > . UK U.F.R III llRY GOODS,
I a—H'luielit nf all Good*I
. I assortment of
iiOKING STOVES.
il cheap B.r CASH or1
Kti<ri:i(. 49-.U*
, • tin'.I:T-'I VKI\<;
and IXDERTAKINO.I
. l-i-v. Mi. Tli..-M.-k. one of i
i theatate, I will guarantee all
I ':..•!.■ I'ti,- T>I give nathdaetioii.
.; niilv made I 'ujttu alwaya ready.
I fiiuf roniiietilinii either in work or
_".' Iv WM. (-OI.I.INS.
The Greensboro Patriot.
Established in 1824. THURSDAY, AUGUST 12, 1869. I New Series No. 79.
W.A. HORNEY
Watch Maker
AND
JEWF.LLEB
H..." alw&T* on hand
a tine aasurtafiit *>f
W'nt rht-a. & .Irw.-lr.v.
UEI'A 1K1XG done SEA TL Y and CHEAJ'L Y
Give him a call at CW-Oglttirnn Ik-uk SUuv.
•71y New Jewelry Ju-i reeeli-eol.
Remember the
DEAD!
TOMBS and
Tile" l|il'l-T-i.'T|.-i! r.-[«-.-tlNll\ ill|imilr> lli-t'l i.'l.lir.
anil lbs piililit' at lmv**^tiat he in now |ir<*|>ar<-d 10
tuini-liall kin.I- ofMtMMWBw and ToaftmUtO**,
nf tutcM ilfMiviiK, uitli protnptiirff. and ut prii-t**
to riuit tin- tinea.
Offwn itulMilM and proui|itIy fillol.
tVAH work weal ofCompany Baou deKrovd
on ibe railroad free of charge.
S. C. ROBERTSON.
80:ly ('ha rlolte. X. *'.
Palmer, llarlnook «V Co., Commis-hion
Mi-icliants. No. I3EU Cary Street,
Richmond, Va.
•Special attuntiun paid to the nale of Wheat
and Tobacco—lmga furniahed for grain, if
tleMiretl.
July I, 1809. 7:t:0m
N. HrDTwiLSON,
(xenci'til Insurance Agent,
CREE\SRORO. X.C.
Bepreaonte FIRE Companies with aggregate
CAPITAL "f
Twenty .llllllona or Dollar*.
.M.'II i lit-:
-ETNA Life INSURANCE COMPANY,
Uaaarnaaeed by any in the CHEAPNESS
and Reliability of ita Holiciea.
ASSETS S12,000,000.
Call and innnro your jtroperty against IONS
by tiro, and thus encore you a home, and pre-vent
eiiibarrcssment in knjajneaw, in cast- of
accident.
TV Provide a LIFE POLICY lot the sup-port
of your wife and children when y..n are
gone. OFI'ICK :-ltanking HOIIM- of Wilson j
& Slioher, South Elm St. 77:ly
ank of <Jr«M-n<iihoro,
(iKEEKSKOKO, N.C. ,
Vh,irler„l //« Ihr Slat' •/ .VvrfA CaTaWnn.
Aiiii.ori^.-a CntpUal »noo.ooo.
JK>SK II. l.lNIisAV, Pnaident,
Late Caaliier Hank Cape Fear, GreenaborD.
Jti.its A.GRAY, Caahler,
Lalf I'aslii.-r Danville Hank. Va.
EliiKNK MOBKBEID, Teller.
Kegouate Lean*, and diacuunl aHadneaa paper. '
Buy and aell Exchange, Gold and Silver Coin and
llulli and Bank Hetea, Gonmunent, Stale and
Kail Road li.n.ii- ami Steeka
Itiorlrti MONEY on DEPOSIT.
Make eolleeaon*, ami tran-aci a nuneral
April. U69. Banking Buaiiium. M:ly
\\J S HOOKE,
W . Dealer in general MERCHANDISE, i
IIII.I.IM;IIV, and Country PHODIlK,
la the only authorised agent of the Singer
Sewing Machine Co., one of the beat in the j
world. The last one he aold.being No. 333^17, ■
abowa to what an extent they are used. Price (
$tio. Also for the Mason & Hainlin Organ Co.
whoaa Instrument* for beauty, and sweetueas
of tonc.(( Lurch and Parlor) are surpassed hy i
none. One of then can 1M- seen at his house
in Greensboro. Price *.">o to 11,0)00. 7S:ly
B
,tt**oroBoo*4
£
a,*1" — rcw. "*\
'^e.NSBOKO,^:
lC; '
II «.T IIF.I I:IVI:I> :
A new and si-lect
Btoekof BOOKS, STATIONERY AND
FANCY ARTICLES.
|)
A i
I . I ai ia\\ a>.
COMMISSION MERCHANT, and,
I.I ... Proriaiona, llanhrare, tilassl
W i |.i|..-i.Wiinliiw-luob'ii.Ac!
u u-iv.-n t.i .-lili-is.and In lliesale^
V,>.,; Stores, Tobacco, DriedI
'. i.l i;r HolsE uril.DINC.
Newbern, ».C.
HOWARD, COLE & CO.;
A Wholesale Dealers in Foreign
I l>.iii..ii. Dry t;...il-.
And White Goods & Notions,
til It.illimoi <-. & til (irrman sis..
W lb n i. )
Baltimore.
■ - ,57:1
i P. Sl"l KK^ - I ill this old ebtabliahed
SI. i.H V .V; IH"LANY,
i - . ii Dealers in s.«[innarv,
II
Waapping Papers,-
Blank Bsoka.
•-■ \V. Haliimoif Street
lli'iil' 11<> Wai-il-
■ 1 .
V i v .r...'■■■.! RareeU,JV.C.
I . It. Ill Ml.lt A to.
.1 (1)1 ION I'M roKH, IMIIIKNKKAL
i 'olllllli-.-ion M-'PolHits,
III,,II A \\"\iin SMIKKIS,
I'lllllMIOI III, VA.
leii, and lilsral advances
' .' - •.ll.aliilillg.
Ov-1,-1 Sin 1. . -: ;,i. per ton.
II I' . i -M Ml |.... !«,,,
ai loweal rash price*.
Nt-rf'ilk Portsmouth, and
■V>:6m
.OK ■ ll-« \H«»I.1>A
HOOK BINDERY
-NK BOOK MANUFACTORY
i:.. -i. x. i.
. Ri : i thsr Law 11. k.
.. ii ding. Missing Nuui*
I « . ■ • m taken in Ex-
11 l.xn uiiou, Miuute
. I'. >ki Is Mwieto Order.
; ■■■■■• .1 fim« Office.
JOHN ARMSTRONG.
The Farmer.
In the sirtnt of thy facr shnlt thnu tut Bread.
AN ITEM FOR TREE GROWERS.—
("lias. Downing says that lie once
witnessed a reutarkalile change pro-duced
«n the body of a pear-tree by
means of wrapping il in straw. The
tree was a BrownBenrre,grafted about
st-veii feet high from the "round, upon
a stock which for years had not grown
as rapidly as the grail, and presented
a very decided bulge or swelling at the
junction of the graft. This smaller
portion was encased in straw about
two inches thick, and at the end of two
seasons it was fonud on removing the
straw that the contracted, or hereto-fore
smaller, stem had swollen to the
size of the graft above, presenting but
a slight indication of the point of union
between graft and stock. This is an
item of interest, and mnuy tree-growers
who have trees with contracted stems,
evidence of some natural want of af-finity
with the graft, may find in it a
hint for practical use. We have our-selves
practiced wrapping the stem nf
Morello cherries, when grafted at a
height of two or three feet with the
fr-e growing or swee'. varieties, with
moss, and thus kept them swelling
regularly with the growth of the graft
for years.— The Horticulturitit.
CURE FOR SHEKP-KILLING DOGS.
—" I.. H.,"Wasliingtoii Hollow, writes:
" I have a valuable dog, and more valua-ble
heep, forwhi.m thedoghasan illicit
likiug. Is there any cure short ofbullet!"
In instance, the following remedy was
effectual. The culprit was muzzled
and strapped by the neck to the necks
of two stout wethers. The sheep took
fright at their unusual compauiou, and
dragged him around the pasture in all
j directions. When tired out, the sheep
were released, and the dog sneaked
home, thoroughly cured ofbis appetite
for live mutton, and he was never
known to chase sheep afterward. If
this remedy fails, try the bullet.—A mcr.
Aarieultiiralixt.
DELAWARE HEDOES.—A oofiespon-dcutofthc
Hiickx Connty Intrllitiencer
says of Delaware hedgee: '• They are
allowed to grow untouched for three
years, when they are. by means of an
axe in the hands of skillful work men.
cut neatly off, close to the ground, and
" laid." as it is termed: thai is. the
stems of the tree-; are inclined and in
terwoven into a kind of hurdle, alionl
two feet lii.^li which i-; sustaiucd in an
upright position by stakes driven in
the ground eighteen or twenty inch) i
apart . The hedge is • laid1 in the
spring, and it immediately begins i..
sucker out, so that by fall a dense
growth of new wood makes a complete
barrier against cattle. With immense
shears, or with a knife somewhat sinii
lar to a corn knife, workmen then go
over the whole, lopping oil' the top of
the branches, when new branches are
thrown out below, so that in a lew
years a hedge is completed, that, to
use the wortls of my host, would turn
a rabbit. 1 never saw anything more
beautiful than those living fences.
KF.MKDY FOR THE STRIPED BFG ON
WATERMELONS, AND THAT WHOLE
FAMILY OF PLANTS.—A correspondent
in the 1'laiiUi itml Farmer swys : Hav-ing
exhausted my patience in trying
various remedies I saw recommended
for protect ion of mj watermelon, niusl;-
inelon, cucumber, cymling and pump-kin
plants, and losing a large portion
of them by that gardeners pest, the
lady bug, or striped bug. I gave up in
despair) and about a week since. I'.ink-ing
1 would try and re\ ive a few plants
of my first planting Of lnusknieloiis, I
ponied a pint of water Oh the plant
just at or about sundown: the bugs
having secreted themselves in the top
of the hill, immediately flew out. and
took to the grass and weeds ; the water
making their place of secretion round
the stem of the plant a sort of mire,
they did not return during the night,
and the next mottling, before the mud
dried to their satisfaction, they had
taken refuge from the heat somewhere
else. Having repeated the experiment
on a larger scale, I have not since seen
but one or two plants treated in this
way that have been troubled by them;
and these I am not certain have suf-fered
by the bug. as they did not ap-pear
on the hill on examination.
How TO KEEP BCTTER SWEET.—
It is the easiest llting'in Ihe world.
Simply put it in clean jars, .and eovt-i
with a strong brine. This will :. •;
pure butter a year, ftesl anil .weet. a>
we know by experience, ii
equally good to pul in oak casks, bead
ed tight. This is equivalent !•> can
ning fruit. The brine, in the ea- "i
the jar. acts as a heading, keeping thi
air out. Bnt butter should be made
well; we have never experimented on
poor butter. Work put the butter-milk
till you have only pure heads clear
as rain-water: but do not work so
much as to break the grain, in which
cft.se you have a tough, heavy article
in mater, and grease in summer.—
Such butler we advise no one to try
to preserve.— Cor. Rural World.
To PREVENT Cows FROM KICKING
WHEN MILKED.—Take a small chain,
put it round her just back of her fore
legs, and twist it. Bverj time she
kicks add a turn or two with a stick :
she will soon stand easy, and after a
few trial- will not need it at all. We
consider it a good thing, and. as far
as 1 have heard, it is universally SOC
ccssful.
ANOTHER METHOD. -Takeahather
strap, pass it round one of the hind
legs of the cow just above the hock,
cross it between the two hind legs.
then buckle or tie it on the oul side
leg in the form of the figure, s, and ii
will be found to be effectual.
Every kind of fruit is increased in
size and improved in quality by attend
ance on early thinning. Ifdone early.
the one pear or peeeh left where two
were, will often become as large as both
would, and lie vastly better.— The Hor-ticulturist.
Bank animal manures arc not so
good in a garden as lime, salt, clay
and vegetable manure. Lime corrects
acidity, makes mellow aud sweet the
garden stuff, and is good generally.
Sever strike au animal upon the
head.
A corrcsimndent of the Practical
Farmer says that his experience shows
that tWO quarts of cooked potatoes
would do as much toward fattening as
four fed raw. and that the value of
corn meal is very nearly doubled by
thorough cooking. He considers raw
potatoes almost valueless for fat ten-
Never kick nor Scream at a horse,
nor jerk the bit in his mouth.
THE BONG OF THE PRINTER.
Pick and click
Ones the type in 111.' stick,
A - the printer stands at his case :
Iliseyes glance quick,and hi* lingers pick
The type at a rapid pace ;
And one by one as the letters go,
Wool- are piled! np steady ami i low-
Steady anil slow—
Put still they grow.
And word- nf tin- they soon will glow;
Wonderful words that without a sound
Traverse the earth to ihe utmost bound ;
Word* that shall make
Thi- tyrant ipiake.
Ami tin' fetters of the oppressed shall break.
Words that can crumble army's might.
Or treble its strength in a righteous light.
Yet the type they look but leaden and dumb.
As he puts them in place with linger and
thumb :
Rut the printer smiles,
And his work beguiles
ily i hunting a song as the letters he piles,
With pick and click,
Like th«' world's chronometer, tick ! ti»-k !
tick !
0, where is the man with such simple tools
Can govern the world like I f
With a printing press. *i, iron stick.
Aud a Hole leaden die,
With paper of while, am! ink of black,
1 support tin- Right, and the Wrong.a|lack.
Say. where is bo, or who may he be,
Thai can rival the printer's power ?
To no monarch's that live, the wall doth he
give,—
Their sway Instsonly au hour ;
While the printer still grows, and God only
knows
When hi- might shall rcaae to tower!
t§Ttf Jafitiuf.
(iUKKNSIiOKO. X. C.
THURSDAY, August 12. 1869.
INTKRKSTIXC. BOOK.
We have in preparation a '• History
of the Life and Campaigns of ijcncral
Will. h. Scott. If. K. 1!.. II. II. <».. &<•..*
by ■• One of the Onilford Dixie Ifoys."
Price ^L\ Sold only by subscription.
Subscriptions received at this office.
BAD WIIISKKY.
The Register man abuses us for drink-ing
bad whiskey. If you really wish
,11 improve our beverage, Mr. Register,
■ ml us some of that good Astoria
whiskey which you fitt heir to when
in Ass. Surgeon in the I'. S. service.
■•Ill UWELL MKNDKNIIAI.I.."
The Register man treats Harwell with
irteal indignity. |He first spells his
name wrong, ami then calls him a liar.
We would simply state that Burwell is
at present on a visit to the "Springs,"
but will return in-a few days, ai:d if
the Register man or any ol his bottle-holders
feel aggrieved at anything he
has sahl, we have no doubt Burwell
will give them entire "satisfaction."
CHIVALRY OX THE BRAIN!
A good deal has been said and sung
about Southern Chivalry. Perhaps the
most extraordinary example of that
high sense of honor which prefers death
to (UihoHOr, is gen. Will. I.. Scott. If. If.
|{., 11. II. O., &c, who left the Confed-crale
army in thespWaji of 1863, and
came home, because he was afraid his
niiii mini I desert to tlit enemy, and DIS-GRACE
him. AI ha-l he says so.—
Shades of Bayard!
PREACHING.
The Reguter has taken to quoting
scripture and holding forth on dogmatic
theology. We presume be will preach
regularly hereafter on Wednesday af-ternoon.
The first sermon oftheseries
will be found in his last issue, aud is
entitled "The Xew Catechism."
We advise Chapin not to go to bed
without a glass ol Astoria Whiskey
and a box of Patent Hack ActionCom
pound Cathartic Extract Defunct Mor-phOdite
Pills at hand for fear this sud-den
atlact ofjwefjf should strike him
before assistance could reach him.
(JEXEALOCY.
The Register says: •• The ('onserva-tive
Party brought on the Rebellion
—the rebellion brought on the war—
the war brought forth emancipation—
emancipation brought forth freedom—
freedom brought forth reconstruction."
&e. We say: reconstruction brought
forth Chapin-Chapin brought forth the
Register—and the Register has not
broughtforth, but is in such a delicate
condition that we are hourly expecting
that every minute will lie the next.
A two-dollar bill, on which is written
an advertisement for a wife, is iu cir-culation.
" GET THEE BEHIND ME, SATAN !"—
When we saw this well known phrase
in the last Register we were at a loss
to understand its meaning. (Inclose
examination of the contest, however,
we are convinced it is a misprint. It
should have been "Get KJJ behind me,
Satan," and is supposed to lie the re-mark
which A. B. Chapin made to his
old friend Satan when he mounted that
famous mule and made his escape from
the Confederacy. Satan did get up
behind him and has remained there
ever since, and is now supposed to be
one of the leading contributors to the
Register.
A RIVER UNDER THE ROCKY
MOUNTAINS.
Tritliners Ri ami contains I he follow-ing
letter from the well-knowi. Ameri-can
ethnographist. Mr. George Catlin.
It will be read with surprise and eager
curiosity:
Mr. Catlin. the American elhao
gr.iphist, whose extensive travels have
led him through the wildest ami rudest
scenery ol America, has turned his
attention for several years past from
the Indians to rocks, and has made iu
these studies vovagesto South America
to the Rocky Mountains, the Andes
and the Antilles, the results of which
he is preparing to publish, in a work
entitled "The Lifted and Subsided
RocksofAmerica, with their Influences
on the Oceanic, Atmospheric and Land
Currents." And one of the sinking
features of this seems to bef to quote
his own words. " the discovery of a
river under the Rocky Mountains many
times wider than the Mississippi, its
course nearly twice the Mississippi's
length, and gliding through the clean
ami vast rocky cellars ofthe upheaved
mountains without the losses by allu-vial
absorptions and solar evaporations
which diminishes \alley rivers,il lakes
along iu its course the sinking si reams
and lakes of the mountains of Mexico
and with them, perhaps by a hundred
mouths iu its deep bed. debouches un-seen
into the Caribbean Sea and Gulf
of Mexico.
The frequent '• Montagues quifitment
•' Ii'oihes i/ni Innililint~ and •• ISImrinij
Cares'" which occur iu the Lucky
Mountain range (he says) indicatesub-moiitagne
cascades, caused by the
waters of melting snows, of rains, of
glaciers, and a thousand sinking rivers
and lakes, which, amongst broken up
and angular rocks, are on their way to
the ocean level.
Thaough the vast and heated vaults
underneath the Andes. I contemplate
a similar river, running from the thir-tieth
degree of south latitude) to the
north, and carrying its overflowing
waters also to the Caribbean Sea.
The Antilles, now partially sunk in
the ocean, are but a chain of mountain
tops which, six thousand years ago.
stood up in their graudeur,a part.,and,
probably, the glory) °fthe Andes; and
a*, that date the two mighty sul.inon-tagne
rivers, meeting and debouching
together into the ocean, castor north
of the Autiles. combined with extra
ordinary volcanic influences, under-mined
the Antilles chain, which went
down in the cataclysm well established
in Indian traditions, which I have
gathered both in North and South
America, and also by unimpeachable
records on tin- rocks thciiisehcs—by
shapes and grooves left in the giant
walls at Caraccas and Santa Martha,
on the coast of Meiiezm la, where this
mighty chain was broken; records
which I have twice seen, which may
be read by all ages to come, and which
are not myths or fables.
In this tremendous catastrophe,
probably the most stupendous that
ever took pirn u the surface ol the
globe, the Peninsula of Yucatan, with
its splendid Aztec cities, sunk, and
and since has partially risen, leaving
the two grand sunken estuaries, the
Gulf of Mexico and tbeCaribblan Sea.
into which the two snbteranean riveis,
from the constant overflow of their
vast cisterns under I he mounlains.now
Spread t|ic"" ''ear and blue waters,
heated by the volcanic furnaces they
have passed. By the joint influx of
these rivers into the Caribbean Sea.i's
western surface is elevated several
feet alnive the level of the ocean ; and
and pouring into the Gulf of Mexico,
iast. and taking
the
sweeping its western coast, t;
in its way the Rio del Norte am.
Mississippi, this vast flood debouches
With them into the Atlantic, at the
Florida Cape, and there becomes the
'•Gulf Stream" until now one of the
mooted puzzles of the world.
An Irishman was employed to trim
some fruit trees. He went in the morn
bag, and on returning at noon was
asked if he had completed his work.—
" No," was the reply : " but I have cut
them all down, anil am going to trim
them iu the afteruoou.*'
PROtiHKW or nTHIV.ll.AMt:
OR WHAT A PAIR OF ANDIRONS
COST.
"Peter," said my uncle, knocking
: the ashes from his pipe, laying it on
. the corner ofthe shelf, and then fixing
! his eyes on the andirons, "Peter, those
cost me one thousand dollars!"
" Hear meT exclaimed my aunt.
•'Oh. father T cried the girls.
'• Impossible." said I.
" True, every Word true. One thou-sand,
did I say '.—yes, two thousand,
full two thousand dollars!"
" Well, well," said my aunt, folding
up her knitting for the night, •'! should
like to know what you are talking
about."
My uncle bent forward, and planting
his hands firmly on his parted knees,
and with a deliberate air which showed
no doubt of his being able to prove
his assertions, he began:
"Well, you see, a good many years
ago we had a pair of common old and-irons.
Your cousin I.etty says one
day. Father,, don't you think these
oid andirons are getting too shabby!
Shabby or not. 1 thought, they would
hold up the wood as nicely as if they
were made of gold. .Soon after that,
Peter,"' continued my uncle, "your
aunf took it up—"
"There il goes!" interrupted my
aunt, "you can't get along without
dragging me in."
"Your aunt took il up, Peter, and she
s.tid 'Our neighbors could afford brass
•inciiroiis, and they were no better off
than we were.' And she said Letty
and her sister .lane were just getting
old enough to see company, and the
Stingy-looking andirons might hurt
their market. I knew that women will
have their own way, and there is no
use iu .ibj.eting: so I got the andirons.
Tiie pi-ice of them was four dollars and
a hall -"
" Ah, that's more like it !" cried my
auiil. •■ I thought you said two thou-sand
dollars !"
" My dear. I wish you would not in-terrupt
ni". Four and a half. Well,
the first night after we got them, as
we all sat by the warm fire talking over
the matter. I.etty called my attention
to the heart!:, the stones ol which were
cracked and uneven. The hearth was
entirely nut of keeping with the new
andirons, and 1 thought I might as
well have it replaced first as last.—
The iicvt day a mason was sent for to
examine it. He came in my absence,
and when I returned home your aunt
and cousins all beset me at once to
have a marble slab, and they put their
heads together."
•• La. me!" exclaimed my aunt, "there
was no pulling heads together about
it. The hearth was a real worn out
thing, not til for a pig.pen."
••They pul their heads together,
Peter, as I was saying, and continued
till I got a marble hearth, which cost
Die twenty dollars yes, twenty dol-lar-
at least. Then I thought I was
done with expenses, but I was wrong.
Soon I began to hear sly hints thrown
out about the brick work around the
lire place not corresponding with the
hearth. I stood for a month or two
against your aunt and the girls, but
they at length got the lietter of me,
..•id I was forced to have marble in-stead
of brick. And then the old wood
mantel pice was so out of character
that it was necessary to have a marble
one. The cost of this was nearly $100.
And now thai the spirit of improve-ment
had gol a si art. there was no
slopping. The new mantel put to
shame the old w hith washed walls, and
thc> must be painted, of course: and
to prepare them for paint sundry re-pair.-
were necessary. While this was
I going on your aunt and tin; girls ap-
! pea red to be quite satisfied ; ami when
it was done, they had no idea that the
l old parlor could In' made to look so
; spruce. But this was only a short
respite. The old rag carpet, liegan to
to raise a dust, and I found then- would
be no peace.—"
•• Now. father!" exclaimed the girls.
"Till I got a new carpet. That,
again, shamed the old furniture, and
it had to be turned out ami replaced
j with new. Now, I'eter, my lad, count
j up twenty dollars for the hearth and
one hundred and thirty lot the mantel-piece
and repair-. What does that
make r
••One hundred and fifty, uncle."
'•Well, fifty for paper and pain i r
•■ Two bundled."
- Then fifty for a carpet, and one
bundled at least for furniture."—
"Three hundred and fifty."
••Ahem! There's that clock, too.
and the blinds—fifty more."
•• Four hundred, exactly." My aunt
and eonsbis winked at each other.
"Now," continued my uncle, "so
much for this one room. No sooner
was the room finished than the com-plaints
came from all quarters about
the dining room and entry. LtUgbe-fore
this I had surrendered at their
discretion, and handed in my submis-sion.
The dining-room cost two hnu-drcd
more. What does that count,
Peterr
" Eight hundred, nnele."
"Then the cbainliers—at least four
hundred, to make themrhimo with the
downstairs."
" Twelve hundred."
" The outside of the house had to be
rejiaireil and painted, of course. Add
two hundred for that."
•• Fourteen hundred."
" Then there must lie a phizes in
front; that coat two hundred."
" Sixteen htimlred." Here auul In-gan
to yawn. Letty to poke the fire,
and .lane to twirl over the leaves of a
book.
" A new carriage came next. Peter;
that cost two hundred dollars."
"Eighteen hundred dollars!"
" Then there was a law n to lie laid
out and neatly fenced—a servant to IKJ
hired—parlies given occasionally—
bonnet and dresses at double the
former cost—ami a hundred other lit
tie expenses in keeping with the new-order
of things. Yes, Peter, 1 was en
tirely within bounds when I said two
thousand dollars."
The opposition was silent. My aunt
immediately arose and •• guessed it
was bed time." I was let! alone with
my tiucle, who was not inclined to drop
the subject. He was a iH-rscvering
man, and never gave up what he un-dertook
till he had done the work tho-roughly.
So he brought out his books
and accounts, and set about making
au exact estimate of the expense. He
kept me up till after midnight before
he got through. Bis cotislusinu was
that the pair of andirons cost him *'_',
tfiQ. '
Can Women Keep a Secret.—George
Francis Train renders a judgment us
follows: Men say women can't keep
asecrct. It is just the rc\ erse—women
can, men can't. Women carry with
them to their graves secrets that would
kill any man. Woman never tells;
man always does. Woman suffers
and dies; man blabs and lives. Mau
crnnot keep a secret ; woman cannot
make it known. What is sport to the
mau is death to the woman. Adam
was a sneak. Kve would have kept
the apple a secret. He ye fruitful.—
Men are coarse iu their club room talk,
women refined iu their parlor conver-sation.
Whoever heard of a woman
telling of her lovers f Who has not
listened to the dissipation ofthe men f
Men boast; women don't. Women
never tell tales out of school ; men are
always babbling. So down with an-other
old Ullage. Women can keep a
secret.
A melancholy little incident is re
lated of the ex-Empress charlotte. -
This unfortunate I'tincess• has lieen
staying for some time at Spa. The
other day she insisted with such ve-hemence
on playing at roulette that it
was impossible to restrain her. On
approaching the table she deliberately
placed a gold piece on the number IS.
The Emperor Maximilian was shot on
June 10. The wheel turned, and,
though .'17 chances were against her.
she won. She smiled sadly, took up
the money and quietly left the room.—
On her way out a pour man passed by.
She gave him all the money, with the
injunction that he was to "pray lor
him." It is known that the Kiuprcss
Charlotte never pronounces the name
of Maximilian.
The IUffirinc—K ladies smoked,
which the god* forbid ! do you sup
pose one lady would allow another
to stop in the street and light a cigar
from her lips, when she never was in-troduced
'. When she. didn't even
know who her dressmaker was or
where she bought her bometsl GWHI
heavens.
Did you ever notice if there is any-thing
unexpected occurs in the mutual
path of men through the same street,
Iiow naturally and frankly liny accost
each other, though perfect slrungers,
and converse about it and go their
ways, after it. Not so; sweet wo
man! "Catch her s;.eaking to thai
nasty thing!" How does she know
" who or what she is f"
Children are so delicious about those
matters. I saw two little girls the
other day trying to crack aunt upoti
the sidewalk by pressing in turn their
tjay little nance upon it Despairing
of success, they said to a gentleman
passing. "Man,man, crack tilsnut for
us, will yon f" His handsome face was
luminous with fun as he presssed his
polished boot down upon ft, to the de-light
of the youngsters and myself.—
Now these little girls wouldn'.t have
thought of asking a lady to do that,
or if they had, do you think she would
have stopped to do it!—Fanny Fern.
Artcinu* Ward once said : Bl igham
Young has two hundred wives. .Inst
think of that. Oblige me by thinking
of that. That is—he has eighty actual
wives and he is spiritualh married to
one hundred and twenty more. So re
Bay he has two hundred wives. He
lives not wisely, but two bundled well.
He is deadly marriisl. He's the most
married man I ever law in my life. '
saw his mother-in law while I was
there. I can't exactly tell you ho*
many there is of her, but if- 0 good
deal. It strikes me that one mother
iu-law is almut enough to have iu one
family—unless you're very fond ol ex-citement.